Thursday, July 28, 2005

Note to writers: Vicodin is not a performance-enhancing drug

Yes, I know: Hemingway had alcohol, Sartre those mescaline experiments, and Hunter S. managed to pound out amazing things while on...whatever he could get his paws on, but Vicodin just doesn't cut it. It takes the edge off the pain, but brings along with it nausea, sleepiness (I picture the Disney dwarf in Snow White), and shallow naps punctuated with menacing dreams. Profundity (or even the illusion of it), nope. Inspiration, zip. Clarity of thought, don't make me laugh.

I know, excuses, excuses. The story will continue later, after a short, terrifying nap.


Daniel Heath said...

I KNOW. get ripped and write? pah. hardly. more like get ripped and type incoherently then either go to bed and wake up feeling shitty the next day or stay up late playing bad video games or watching Starship Troopers for the twenty-seventh time.

I don't know what was up with Hemmingway, but it's all about caffeine.

Oh, and plus it helps to not have recently had major surgery.

bricotrout said...

i dare say you are completely wrong with this one. this is the funniest post of yourS yet!!! KEEP IT UP!! you may be the first person who doesnt appreciate THEMSELF in their own time. ;)

Chemical Billy said...

monkey 0: dear god, you're able to sit through starship troopers more than once!?

trout: okay then. I'll hook me up with a regular supply and join the Vicodin achievers.

monkey #5 said...

Pass it around. Stuck somewhere's aweful and could use the inspiration.

And, seriously, I couldn't even sit though "Starship" once, let alone multiple viewings.

Vicodin Side Effects said...

My name is Robert Fraser and i would like to show you my personal experience with Vicodin.

I am 27 years old. Have been on Vicodin for 1 day now. Found a few pills. I'm currently not an addict though I have taken vicodin in the past and I am certainly playing with the devil because I do like the feeling it gives me. Biggest problem, besides the addiction, is Insomnia. Tossed and turned for two hours before I decided to research it.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Constipation and insomnia.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Robert Fraser