Thursday, April 06, 2006

Fast

The meat suit's been acting up again. Today the surgeon opens me up for a look. I'm considering asking him to install a zipper in place of stitches.

In preparation, yesterday was a diet of clear liquids, today a diet of air and nothing else, not even water, not even my own spit. Under normal circumstances, I am what is called a "good eater." I do not skip meals. If breakfast is - for some horrible reason - missed, I become surly and stupid. I misplace things, like my pants, or my right hand.

But I grew up in a religion with a strong tradition of fasting. On the first Sunday of every month, we fasted for two meals and gave the money we would have spent on them to the poor. This seems a noble thing, and for a long time after I stopped going to church, I kept up the practice.

Sometime in the last twenty years, however, I stopped.

It was also common, in the religion of my youth, to fast for inspiration, something shared with spiritual traditions around the world. I had vague hopes of some form of secular inspiration today, but nothing doing. My head hurts, and I'm hungry.

I guess that religious background makes me want something more from this experience than the gurgling of my stomach. More than once, I thought about the vast numbers of people who feel like this almost every day.

Mostly, though, I want to eat.

6 comments:

anne said...

Mr. Billy had better make sure that a magnificent meal is there for you to feast upon when you return...

monkey 0 said...

sending those secular rays that us atheists sened instead of prayers...
-m0

Caryn said...

For someone who skipped her three squares, you sure seem together in your post. I'm quite impressed. I hope things go well with the look-see. I had open heart surgery when I was a baby, and although they haven't had to reopen me (thank God!) my cariologist has talked about the slim possibility of a pacemaker someday, which would mean opening me every seven to ten years for a battery change. A battery change. Although I wouldn't really want a pacemaker, I honestly can't help but find the thought of having my batteries changed on occasion appealing. Okay, it's actually the appealing of telling everyone that I need my batteries changed that I find morbid and amusing at the same time.

el Geoffo said...

Yiker. All the best, kiddo.

Chemical Billy said...

anne - magnificent meals are on offer, but the appetite lags. Mr. Billy has steaks in reserve, though, for when I want 'em.

monkey - those secular rays must, like, totally work, dude.

caryn - I'm so with you on the battery changes! All the same, I'll send some of monkey's secular rays that you don't have to have them. My good friend's son had to have the same sort of thing when he was born. Eesh.

el geoffo - thanks!

Geo said...

I like food too but I'd gladly give up my own spit for you, if you want a fasting friend. Name the time. I'll even take out my dentures for you.