Scratch fiction can be a heady antidote to writerly malaise, lack of inspiration, or not enough time to write. If you're despairing at the pile of rewrites on your desk, you can head down to the bar for a Bukowskian binge, or you can write some scratch fiction. I'm not advocating either, necessarily, but scratch fiction won't give you a hangover, and it's not likely to make that doughy guy at the end of the bar with the greasy hair and spittle-glazed lips look charming.
Step 1: Sit in front of computer.
Step 2: Get up and pour a drink. Sit down again.
Step 3: Get up and yell to spouse (or partner, or roommate, or call a friend). Ask for a topic. If you don't want to speak to anyone, pick up a random book, open to a random page, and drop your finger on the page. The word you land on is your topic.
If you don't like the first topic given, you can ask for another.
Step 4: Type a title. This can be the topic you've been given. Or it can be something completely unrelated that the topic makes you think of. Or that the person you asked makes you think of. Maybe the way his glasses reflect the light while he is thinking of a topic makes you think of a shiny beach ball your best friend had when you were three, that you wanted more than anything in the world, so much you got into a fight with your friend and one of you ended up with a bloody nose, which makes you think about how far people will go for stuff they want, so you decide to write a thrilling short piece about a thief, or a junkie, or a concubine. Or maybe you write about two three-year-olds who get into a fight over a beach ball.
Step 5: Type for 15 minutes or so, until the piece is finished. Nope, don't go back and revise - keep typing.
Step 6: I said, keep typing.
Step 7: Stop. Take a drink. What the hell, finish your drink. You've earned it.
Step 8: Read the piece. Fix typos and/or egregious errors, if you must, but do not revise.
Step 9: Hit "publish".
Step 10: Have another drink.
Wait, I did say this wouldn't give you a hangover, right? Then make the drink fruit juice.